Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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