Having a random hookup so left but love u
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
