I think i peed on brittanys purse
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
