It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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