Just mADE A PArabola og urine
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
