What a fucking waste of an outfit
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
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