It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
