I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I think this conversation is over.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
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Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
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We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?