I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
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He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
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Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.