i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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