Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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