How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize