yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Randomize