Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
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