I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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