You're a womanizer and a bitch.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize