hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize