chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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