I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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