he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
