Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
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This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
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I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
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