Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Randomize
