Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Randomize
