I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
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I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
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our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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