The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
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We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
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Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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