I just made out with a guy for $7.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
