You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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