just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
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GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
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We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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