Already got asked if we're dating
So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
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