So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
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Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
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How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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