the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
Randomize
