Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
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