worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize