im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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