The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
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Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
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i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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