If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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