I hate all girls vehemently.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Randomize