if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize