oh god the rape fog is back!
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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