All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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