think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.