I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
