girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize