Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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