i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I need water and some morals
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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