sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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