when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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