ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Randomize