Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
