The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He better not be in your backpack
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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