Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize